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Every parent’s worst internet nightmare is to find their son
or daughter looking at pornographic material, or worse, interacting with child molesters
online. To protect our children, we must utilize three methods of control. Software
content filters are a good first step, but only when we supplement them with good
parenting as well. By situating family computers in a public place and asking our
children the same questions we ask when they go out with friends, we create a three-pronged
assault on child predators and ensure the safe online experience that our children
deserve.
The most important way that we as parents can protect our children online
is to ask questions. These are the same questions you would ask any time your children
leave the house; Where are they going? What are they doing there? Who else is there?
Be careful not to ask leading questions or to accuse your child of something they
have not done, but just listen. Also, make sure that your children know they have
your ear. Tell them that if they see anything that frightens or confuses them, which
is bound to happen, you are open to discussing it with them.
Another aspect of parenting
is setting and
enforcing ground rules. Some parents are content to allow their children
unlimited time online. Others choose to limit the amount of time their children
can spend. Either way, make sure your children know what you expect of them. Inform
them of the rules of when they can use the computer, where they can go, and for
how long. Then, stick to those rules. If you allow your child to be online for one
hour, make it one hour every time. Allowing ‘five more minutes’ can quickly degenerate
into allowing unlimited time, so hold your ground.
The second big step we can take
to protect our children is to monitor them whenever they are online. You may not
want to spy on your kids, or you may think this violates their privacy, but it is
your job to protect them; privacy will come with maturity. There are different ways
of achieving this, however, and you may want to pick the options that work best
for you. Obviously you could sit and watch your children when they are online, but
this works best for young children who often need help reading and navigating anyway.
But with older children, we can not be with them every second. We have to utilize
other methods of observation. The most common method is to use your web browser’s
‘history’ option to review websites that have been visited recently. This is easy
to erase, and often one of the first things kids learn to do when trying to hide
their activities. Another option is to place your child’s computer in a public,
preferably high-traffic area. If the computer is in a public area, parents and siblings
can easily observe a child’s activities.
The third prong of our defense of safety
is content filtering. This is software that prevents a list of ‘blacklisted’ websites
from being visited. It may sound like a great idea, but suffers from a few problems.
First, most software is either too ambitious and blocks websites that we may want
our children to be able to visit, or it is too lax and allows through sites with
questionable material. Also, some astute children may find ways to disable this
software or get around it.
Ultimately, no one method can guarantee our children’s
safety online. We must create an environment of communication, monitor our children’s
actions online, and use protective software to help protect their safety when we
cannot be watching them. With this three-pronged approach to safety, we can ensure
that our children have a safe, enjoyable internet experience.
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